What is gay?

I have been very interested in the debate about gay rights and gay marriage. I have been particularly interested in the evolving definition of being gay. Some define it as a sexual preference. Some say it is just the way you are and were born that way. Some say it is the result of some trauma from childhood.

This is more than and intellectual exercise because it shapes the legal arguments that are presented when gay people seek "equality" in various areas. If it is is a sexual preference then we clearly see it as choice. If it is a choice, why would you get special rights because you choose to have sex with someone of the same sex. The argument that gays are born that way and it is somehow genetic is more problematic because that has not been proven in any way and there is still the question of "so what?".

We use terms like heterosexual, homosexual,  and asexual to describe our inclinations towards sex. Sex is a powerful motivator. One only has to watch the news for a few minutes to see somebody somewhere involved in a sexual scandal. The problem is that these descriptions involve our behavior, not who we are. Our sexual proclivities do not define us in the way that race, gender, and age do. None of the normal protected classes involve any type of behavior that defines the group. You can not be considered gay unless you are sexually attracted to members of thre same sex, therefore that is the defining attribute.

No other group in history has been given rights based strictly on their behavior. This is a very slippery slope indeed. If you start to define peoples legal rights solely based on their desire to have sex with a particular group we will be in bigger trouble than we already are. I personally don't care what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes. I do, however, object to anyone seeking special rights simply because they choose to define themselves differently in sexual terms. I also believe that I have the rigtht to disagree with any behavior I find objectionable.